On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
