You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
