that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
