I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
