Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
