If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
