he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
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i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
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and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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