my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
