i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We don't watch enough power rangers
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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