her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
