I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
