Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
