Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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