please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
