Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
