There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
