covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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