My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
