just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I smell like Dick and happiness
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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