I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize