Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
