Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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