Jerry, you need to find god
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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