I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize