Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
