This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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