I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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