I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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