Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
