Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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