i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
