I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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