My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize