We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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