dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
