it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
