People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
