that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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