is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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