so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
