we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
