He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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