your thong is hanging out like whoa
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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