You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
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She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
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I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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