i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
