Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
