Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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