the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
