If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
