There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
