Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
