I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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