Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
