I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
