You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
