How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
